Charlene’s Thoughts: A Belated Look At Valentines Day

     Holidays are wonderful. They take the drab out of our existence and give us opportunity to relate to loved ones and friends. For some, however, holidays can be a hurting time. Singles, especially, may find Valentines Day to be a hard holiday to embrace.

I can remember being single. It was a lonely existence with time spent working; visiting family and friends; fishing and bowling–just in an attempt to fill my hours and keep my thoughts off of going home to my empty house. I can remember driving down to the ocean and staring out at the water while bemoaning my single state. I am an extreme extravert–and being alone for me was not a good thing then or now.

I listen to my daughters, both single, and realize that they also struggle with this love holiday. While they are searching and praying for their special person, it is emotionally trying to view everyone else around them in relationships. They struggle with the decision to attend a valentine’s party, or not? What they do not realize is that the state of being single also has it’s own merit.

When you are single you can choose to make your own agenda. You can motor to a quiet spot on a whim; go shopping without extreme guilt, or sleep in (a rare privilege for us married folk). There are none to argue with your politics unless you choose to allow them. You can invest and save for a rainy day and…you can buy a luxury car or a sports car because you are usually the only occupant. In other words you have more freedom. On the down side–you may experience less social interaction.

There are some single people who love being single. They surround themselves with family and/or friends and choose to live a single lifestyle. They are happy in the knowledge that this is their choice, and many are true nurturers. They become the aunties and uncles that shower love on everyone.

I guess this all boils down to realizing that the old axiom, “grass is always greener on the other side” may not always be true. Not all singles want married bliss, although I can safely say that most do, and not all marrieds want to stay married. Marriage is hard work and extreme commitment,and is definitely not for the faint of heart!!

That said, Valentines Day can be painful for singles and marrieds alike. So the next time you bemoan your fate as a single on Valentines Day, please remember that there are widow(ers), divorced persons, and people in abuse situations out there. Valentines Day is a struggle for them also.

credit: Charlene @charlenesattic.com

Be Blessed

This entry was posted on Monday, February 20th, 2012 at 10:12 am and is filed under My Look at the World.